Several well-known church members have chosen to leave the church in recent years. Many of them, at least in the public eye, appear to be strong members of the church before suddenly announcing their departure. This reminds me how important it is to have my trust in the correct source rather than allowing the world to be my source of trust.
When It Felt Personal
Anyone who knows me well knows that in my late teens/early 20s, I had a tiny, minor, barely even worth-mentioning celebrity crush on a minor LDS celebrity. It wasn’t like I was obsessed with him or anything. I mean a friend and I may have created our perfect guys based on who we perceived this guy to be. I may have also specifically watched some of his movies simply because he was in them. Other than that, I wasn’t obsessed with this guy at all.
Earlier this week, I learned that this guy has probably left the church. I’m using the word “probably” because while I’m about 99% sure that he has left the church, I’ve only seen speculation mixed with very convincing evidence. I had wondered for several months if he’d left based on a few different things, though.
This guy has played the part of the best friend to an angel, the devil, a missionary (both before and after his mission), a soldier (multiple times), and many other parts. I’ve never met this man, but I felt a certain connection to him that I haven’t felt with other actors or celebrities (minor or otherwise) who have left the church. Because of that, it hit me harder than learning about others who have left the church. Some people will say this is an exaggeration, but it almost feels like a friend or family member has left the church.
Why I Think It Affected Me So Much
I’ve always thought it was a bit ridiculous when people admire celebrities too much without knowing them. I’d like to believe that I’m not one of those people. Yet, I think I kind of did that in this case. He’s a few years older than me. Based on his “movie” persona, he seemed strong in the gospel. Most of his movie credits since the late 1990s were church-related movies. He seemed like the sort of guy who if we knew each other in real life, we’d be friends. Maybe, we still could be. Of course, that’s based entirely on how I perceived him based on the characters he plays in movies. If this guy, who seems strong in the gospel, can go inactive, this could happen to me or my future husband (assuming I ever marry). It feels personal.
Trust in the Right Source
I think we’ve all had experience with someone we know and admire leaving the church. Several years ago, a previous Young Women’s leader left the church. Around that same time, a childhood friend’s father was excommunicated when he had an affair. He was a high councilor when it happened. Both of these were people I had admired. To me, these are examples of how important it is to trust in the right source.
In life, we are all going to meet people who are strong in the gospel, who are great examples of Christlike qualities. Some of these people will remain strong in the gospel for their whole lives. Some will stray for a bit and come back. Unfortunately, some of them will choose to leave and not come back to the church in this life.
When we put too much trust in people, when our testimonies are dependent upon the strength of someone else’s dedication to the gospel, it will be devastating if that person ever leaves the church. For me, this is a reminder to put my trust in the correct source. This source is not a person, not even a local church leader. It is instead the Godhead (Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost). I would also say that you can also safely trust those who represent Christ at the highest level, such as the president of the church, the First Presidency, and the Twelve Apostles. Heavenly Father would not allow them to lead us astray.
How Do I Put My Trust in the Right Source?
One of the most important ways to begin to establish trust in the right source is to develop your own testimony. When your trust is in a person, you will be devastated if that person doesn’t live up to your expectations. This could be something as simple as learning someone you highly admire isn’t perfect, or it could be something more serious, such as seeing that person fall away from the church. If your testimony isn’t strong enough when the person you admire falls off the pedestal you’ve put them on, you may find yourself doubting or falling away from truths as well.
Building your testimony so you can trust in the correct source takes desire, time, and effort. This is an individual process. We cannot rely on someone else’s testimony for our spiritual progress and survival. Building this testimony involves regular participation in the things we often consider the “Primary answers.” This includes things like going to church, praying, reading our scriptures, and regularly attending the temple. We also need to follow the prophet and other church leaders. Of course, that also requires trust and a testimony. If you don’t already know that Russell M. Nelson is a prophet, I encourage you to pray to know. We can come to understand exactly how to trust in God and where to put our focus as we study recent general conference talks.
Things that May Cause Trust Roadblocks
Many things may cause roadblocks as we seek to establish trust in the correct source, God rather than man. I’m not going to name them all. I’m just going to focus on three that I feel like you might encounter while trying to live righteously.
Expecting Perfection From Leaders
One roadblock is expecting perfection in our leaders. It is important to note that even those who are trying hard are going to stumble at times. Don’t hold people’s mistakes (or things you perceive as mistakes) against them.
I remember a college roommate whose family for some reason had a grudge against a member of the Twelve. Her grandpa didn’t agree with a work-related decision the man had made probably 30+ years before, and the whole family held it against him. She told me they supported the other general authorities, but they really hoped this man was never made the prophet. I don’t know who was in the wrong or if neither man was in the wrong, but I remember thinking that they should just let it go. Clearly, this man was living righteously, or he would not have received the calling.
Doubts and Confusion
Several years ago, Dieter F. Utchdorf encouraged us to “doubt our doubts before you doubt your faith.” Some people may say that he’s asking us to have blind faith. I’ve never felt that way about this comment. Instead, he, like other church leaders, knows that things are going to come up that aren’t going to make sense. Whether it’s specific church doctrine that doesn’t fully make sense, a church history event that makes you a little uncomfortable, or something else, we are all going to face times when we doubt our faith and feel confused. It’s a part of life.
Instead of focusing on our doubts during these times, we need to focus on what we know to be true. If our focus is on our doubts, we are just going to feed that doubt. We may end up getting hung up on something that really doesn’t matter. I’ve often found that when I attempt to focus on faith rather than doubt, things start to make sense with time. I begin to see the bigger picture, which generally makes those doubts either disappear or seem less important. I can even think of one specific time when I had an Oh, that’s why that happened moment concerning my doubt.
Losing Trust When Prayers Aren’t Answered the Way We Want
Continuing to trust Heavenly Father can be hard when our prayers aren’t answered the way we want. When our trust and faith waver, generally we are trying to push our will on Heavenly Father. Our reluctance to accept the difference between what we want and what Heavenly Father wants for us may cause our trust in Him to suffer. I think this is a struggle at times for just about everyone. This is especially true when we feel like we are trying to follow God’s will, and then things don’t turn out as expected.
I don’t know that there’s an easy solution to this trust roadblock. I could say that we should just trust that Heavenly Father knows best. That, though, is sometimes a lot easier to write or say than it is to do. Seeking to align your will with God’s will begins with a desire to do just that. I think it’s an ongoing process to better align our will with His. If you don’t have that desire, start from there.
My Final Takeaway
I feel like I did some rambling as I wrote this post. If I did, I apologize. Realizing someone I respected for staying true to his beliefs has left the church saddens me. I do wish him the best in life, though.
This is a reminder to me to put my trust in the right source. Our trust should never be in a person who may decide to choose a different path in life. It should only be in Heavenly Father. It also reminds me that I can’t control anyone else’s decisions, but I can decide for myself where I want to put my trust and if I’m going to allow outside sources to destroy my trust in Heavenly Father and my faith.
1 comment
Comments are closed.