I recently read an article where someone asked Elder Bednar how they can trust God when they’ve followed a prompting that didn’t work out. I wouldn’t say that a prompting that doesn’t go well would cause me to lose trust in God. Unfortunately, though, when I feel prompted to do something, and I follow that prompting, but it ends badly, I often find myself with “why” questions. Why was I prompted to do that? Why couldn’t I have done what I wanted to do instead of what I was prompted to do?
When I Really Struggle With the End Results
Sometimes, I feel prompted to do a specific thing. If it goes along with what I want to do, I’m happy to follow that prompting. Unfortunately, it might not turn out well. When my own desires go along with what I thought was the Spirit prompting me, I’m disappointed. Yet, I also realize what I thought was the Spirit may have only been my own thoughts. It could also be Heavenly Father allowing me to do things my way so I can see that they won’t turn out well. When this happens, it’s difficult, but I don’t find myself with too many lingering “why” questions.
Over the last few years, I’ve had several experiences where I’ve felt very strongly that I was being prompted to do something that went completely against my desires. After a series of promptings, I’ve decided to act in faith, being obedient. These promptings have involved things such as furthering my education in a specific way, making specific job-related choices, and even pursuing potential dating opportunities. In each case, things have not gone well.
When asked if I regret making these decisions, it’s hard at times to not say that I regret them. Things did not turn out well in any of these cases. In some cases, the consequences of these choices made me feel worse about myself. I feel like I wasted my time. I wonder why I felt like I needed to do that thing when it was going to turn out horribly. Yet, in each of these cases, I know the Spirit prompted me to do a specific thing. If I say I regret doing it, I’m basically saying, “I regret listening to the Spirit.”
Then Why Was I Prompted to Do These Things?
Honestly, that’s a question I’m asking myself. Why was I prompted to do these things? I don’t have the answers. If I’m feeling in a pessimistic mood, I might imagine Heavenly Father sitting in heaven, looking down on me, saying, “Haha, I just made her do that dumb thing. Can you believe she actually did that?”
Of course, I realize Heavenly Father is not mean. He doesn’t get joy out of our struggles and sorrows. He’s not looking to get a good laugh at our expense. That’s not the way He does things.
With some things, I think it’s about obedience. Sure, it’s easy to be obedient when it’s something I want to do or even when it’s something I don’t mind doing. Sometimes, though, the test is whether I’m willing to be obedient when it’s something I really don’t want to do.
More often than not, though, I think it’s about not seeing the whole picture now. At least I hope that’s the case. This is a concept that’s really hard for me to accept at times. I want things to make sense now. I want to understand the “whys” of life when they happen, not next month, next year, or a dozen years from now. Maybe, it’s not so much that following a prompting has ended badly as that things hit a bad patch along the way. Maybe, there are lessons to be learned along the way. Perhaps, that prompting is only the first in a series of promptings that lead to something more. Maybe, I just need to be patient.
When Promptings Allow Me to Reevaluate
The prompting not turning out well could also be offering me an opportunity to reevaluate what I need to get out of following a prompting. Maybe, applying for a specific job isn’t about getting that job but about an experience I have as a result of the application or interview process. Perhaps, there’s something to be gained by attending a ward with more people attending sacrament meetings than went to my entire high school. Maybe, pursuing a certain friendship isn’t about that friendship lasting as much as it’s about avoiding a similar mistake next time. Ultimately, the prompting isn’t always for the reason it seems on the surface.
