I like to believe that I’m a pretty adaptable person. I feel like I can handle change fairly well. At one point in my early 30s, I realized I had been in a different ward on average every other year up to that point in my life. When people in my area start crying and seem completely devastated because their ward boundaries change, I haven’t felt super sympathetic. Change happens. If those people you claim you’ll miss so much were really that great of friends, you’d find a way to walk (or drive) the three blocks to see them even if they are no longer in your ward.
I’m adaptable. I can handle change great. This is one area where I don’t have to worry, right? Well, maybe not so much. I’ve realized lately that maybe, I don’t handle it as well as I’d like to believe.
Not the House I Remember
A week or so ago, one of my Facebook friends posted about how their childhood home was being sold. They commented on how the house looked so different from how they remembered their childhood home looking. This got me curious. I wouldn’t say that I exactly have a childhood home. We moved several times when I was a kid. We did, though, live in the same house from late August 1994 to mid-October 1999. If I had to pick a childhood house, that would be it.
In my curiosity, I decided to figure out what it looks like now. It actually took a while to find it because while I could remember the street it was on, I couldn’t remember the exact house number. I used Google Maps Street View to figure it out. Creepy? I hope not.
Even using Google Maps, it took me a bit to figure out which house was the one I spent five years of childhood in. In the roughly 25 years since I was last there, it had changed so much. How dare it change! The fencing along the one side of the house seems to now surround the whole house. The bushes look different. Something’s different with the front door. The ivy along the one side of the house seems to be gone. It’s just not the same place. I don’t even know what the inside looks like. Maybe, they’ve remodeled the inside so much that I wouldn’t recognize it either.
I know it’s ridiculous, but there’s a certain part of me that didn’t want it to change. I wanted to remember it the way it was then. If it’s changed, it’s not the same home.
Putting Me In a New Relief Society
Because it is so big, our Single Adult Ward has two Relief Societies. When they split into the two Relief Societies, they did so geographically. It looked like we were pretty close to the border between the two Relief Societies.
Fast forward to last month. Our ward had been a ward since October, so about 8 months at this time. There’d been two Relief Societies for probably almost 7 months. As the roll was passed around in Relief Society, both my sister and I realized our names were no longer on it. My sister got out her phone and saw that we were now assigned to the other Relief Society.
In talking with our then Relief Society president, she knew about the change. She said they were adjusting the boundaries. Yet, no one had said anything to us. If I’m being honest, it felt a bit like we were being kicked out.
I thought I was okay with the change. After all, I’d heard the other Relief Society was smaller. It is. Yet, as I went to class that first week, I felt like the new kid all over again. Sure, there were familiar faces from Sunday School and other ward activities, but these ladies had gotten to know each other over the last half a year or so. There were Relief Society relationships already established. I wasn’t sure about this change either.
I do think that once I get used to it, I will like the change. The smaller class size alone is appealing. My thought, though, is that once I actually get used to this change and start enjoying my new Relief Society, they’ll finally implement the announced YSA changes. Then roughly half our ward will be gone. We’ll probably be back to one large Relief Society again.
Change to a New Temple Shift?
I’ve worked at the temple since June 2018. The whole time, I’ve worked the same shift. Even though we’ve had people come and go from our shift, overall, these are the people I know. I’m comfortable with the same shift. I don’t want to change to a different one. I’ve subbed a few times on other shifts, and every shift does things a bit differently. I have to admit that I like the way we do things best. I like the people on my shift. It just works best for me.
I’ve realized lately that if I ever had to decide between going permanently to a different shift or being done working as a temple ordinance worker, I’d probably go with being done. Yes, I’m sure I’d come to enjoy working with the people on another shift if I changed shifts. Yet, at this point, I’ve served as a temple worker for over six years. While I’m okay moving on from being a temple worker when it’s time to move on, I’m not sure that I’d be okay with simply moving to another shift.
Why Change is So Important
I think we all know that life is not going to stay the same forever. Change is inevitable. It is through these times of change that we begin to grow. I think we all realize this and realize that change is an important part of the plan. Yet, some changes are harder than others. There are definitely times when I wish that I could just learn the lesson without having to make the change or at least without the change feeling painful or difficult.
Yes, I realize in each of these cases, the changes that have taken place are good. A house that looks the exact same for 25+ years isn’t a great thing. The people who’ve moved into the house want to make it their own. We made changes to the house while we lived there as well. I can’t expect life to stand still forever. Moving to a different Relief Society will be good. I am excited about the smaller size of the class. I just wish that someone had told us so we didn’t just figure out when our names were no longer on the roll. Even moving to another temple shift will be a good thing if that’s the right thing for me to do. I know people who work on many of the other shifts, and I’d get to know more people and maybe develop more friendships.
I’m sure I’ll experience many more changes throughout my life. Some of them will be easy to embrace. Others will be harder to accept. With this understanding of my own reluctance at times to accept change, I do hope I will remember to have a bit more sympathy when someone else is struggling with a change that I don’t think is hard to accept.
