It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post, and over the last few months, I’ve gotten really sporadic with my posts in general. I apologize for that. I do want to do better. Today, I came across this writing contest loser from last year. I’d forgotten I even written it until I was reading it over again. It’s about how life sometimes doesn’t turn out the way we anticipated, but there can be something greater planned for us.
Pre-Reading Warning
This one’s a long one. I think the contest had a 5,000-word limit, and it gets pretty close to reaching that limit. While it has Christian elements, it’s not for a specific Christian denomination. I hadn’t really planned on sharing it, but it seemed like I needed to get back in the habit of writing a post at least semi-regularly. This is my start back on that path.
Also to note, the subheadings were not included in the original story. They were only included to break the text up, hopefully making it a little easier to read.
When Life Doesn’t Turn Out as Planned
“I’m sorry. I really am,” Steven told me. “I prayed about it, and…”
That ended any hopes of covincing him otherwise. I knew I couldn’t argue with him. If he’d prayed about it, and that was his answer, we clearly weren’t right for each other. It hurt, though.
“I guess you’ll be wanting the ring back,” I said.
“Yeah, I’ll need to return it. Hopefully, I can get the money back. If not, I can probably sell it online,” Steven, ever the practical guy, responded.
If this were a movie, I’d probably rip it off my finger, throw it at him, and hit him in the forehead with the ring. Maybe, I would have even beamed him in the eye with it. Fortunately for him, we weren’t in a movie. Instead, I gently took the ring off, setting it on the table. Then I walked away. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I knew he already felt badly about it.
“Jessica, I really am sorry,” Steven apologized. “You’ll see. We just aren’t right for each other. We were trying to force something that wasn’t right.”
I didn’t respond. As I walked out of the restaurant, I contemplated whether to call my twin sister, Lynzi, for a ride or just walk home. I wasn’t sure which was the better option. If Steven came out of the restaurant and saw me standing there, waiting for my sister to arrive, it might be awkward. Yet, if he came out and saw me walking home, he might feel obligated to offer me a ride home. I finally settled on walking home. It gave me time to calm down a little and to contemplate how I was going to present my newly single status to everyone.
Telling Lynzi
“Jessie, you’re home early,” Lynzi commented as I walked in the front door a half hour later.
“Steven broke up with me,” I said, not really planning to say it so bluntly.
“Wow, really?” Lynzi asked.
“He said he prayed about it, and he knows that breaking up was the right decision,” I told her.
“Didn’t he say the same thing about proposing?” Lynzi asked.
I ignored my sister’s comment. All that proved was that I’d done something wrong since the proposal happened.
“I guess I wasn’t good enough for him. I’m way too judgmental of people,” I responded, not bothering to hide the bitterness in my voice.
“No, Jessie. You are too good for him,” Lynzi said.
“I’m not too good. Steven’s too good for me,” I argued.
Lynzi grabbed me by the shoulder, surprising me a bit. Then she guided me down the hallway to the room we shared.
“Jessie, really? Steven is far from perfect. Seriously, you are too good for him,” my sister assured me.
“He’s pretty close to perfect,” I argued.
“No, he isn’t. Believe me. Steven is far from perfect. Look on the bright side. This gives you a chance to go to law school,” Lynzi said.
Lynzi had a point. Growing up, I’d had two big goals in life. Become a lawyer and marry a pastor. Unfortunately, when Steven and I had gotten engaged, I’d given up the first dream in favor of the second. Steven didn’t think a pastor’s wife should work. He figured I’d be too busy taking care of our children, who were sure to come soon after we got married.
Lynzi’s Idea
“You’ve got the grades. You can do it,” Lynzi said, and I felt tempted by the suggestion.
Just before I’d gotten engaged, I had taken the LSAT. My score had been higher than I’d expected. I’d secretly been paying attention to the application deadlines for my Top 3 universities, hoping that Steven would change his mind about me working and that he’d find a church near the university where I was accepted. While the deadline to start in the fall had passed for my third-place choice, the deadlines for the other two were a little over a week away.
“You’ve still got a week. I’ll help you. You know you want to do it,” Lynzi encouraged me.
I looked over at my sister, surprised.
“What? You left the application pages open on your computer last week. I just happened to see them,” Lynzi defended herself.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” I agreed, feeling excited about the prospect.
I was surprised how much I was able to accomplish in the next week. By the end of the week, I had both applications submitted. I’d thought getting the letters of recommendation would be the hardest part, but many of my current and previous professors were happy to help me out on such short notice.
The Results
A month later, I sat anxiously staring at my computer screen. I had emails from both universities. While I hadn’t clicked on either message, I felt an odd combination of excitement, nervousness, and dread.
“If you won’t click on them, I will,” Lynzi said.
“Go ahead,” I said.
As Lynzi guided the cursor toward the email from my top choice, I felt the nervousness taking over. What if it was a rejection? Lynzi opened the email and then clicked on the link, directing her to the results. For a moment, I wasn’t sure that I was reading it right.
“San Diego’s too close to Los Angeles anyway. Steven will still be here. You need to get away from him,” Lynzi told me.
While I knew rejection was possible, the way things were falling into place with my applications, I’d thought that it would work out. What if the second one was a rejection as well? What would I do?
Before I could put it off any longer, Lynzi clicked on the email from the second university. I turned my head away.
“You got in!” Lynzi said excitedly.
I turned back toward the screen. She was right. The nervousness and doubt hit me hard. Growing up in Huntington Beach, California, I’d never lived more than an hour and a half drive from my parents. This would mean living on the opposite side of the country from the rest of my family. I’d have to spend several hours on a plane to even visit them.
“Aren’t you excited?” Lynzi asked, looking concerned.
“Yes?” I said, knowing that I sounded uncertain.
“I’m sure you’ll do great,” Lynzi said, hugging me.
A New Beginning
Six months later, I collapsed on the bed in my new apartment. The trip from California to Boston was a bit of a blur. It involved loud passengers, a 2-hour layover, and strangers sitting way too close to me for my own comfort. In some ways, it felt like everything over the last six months had happened so quickly. In other ways, it felt like it had taken forever. I wasn’t even entirely sure how I’d ended up in my housing situation. It was one of those someone knows someone who knows someone sort of situations, and now I was rooming with a woman that I only knew through what other people told me about her.
“Hey,” my housemate, Ashleigh peeked her head in my door. “I’m headed out to the store. Do you want me to grab you anything, or would you like to come along?”
Part of me knew that I should take her up on her offer, but I was tired. I still needed to get started unpacking. The thought of having to go shopping on top of having to unpack was completely unappealing. Yet, I also needed some food.
Ashleigh must have sensed my hesitation, because she said, “Tell you what, I’ll pick us up some food. You finish unpacking, and I’ll be back with dinner in about an hour.”
“Sounds good. Thank you so much,” I said.
Ashleigh was out the door right away, and soon I was making some headway on unpacking. The room was actually bigger than I’d anticipated. There might even be enough room to comfortably walk around the room without having to worry about bumping into either the bed or the desk.
Pasta for Dinner
I was pretty well into the unpacking process when the front door opened. A wonderful aroma came down the hallway, drawing me out of my room.
“Pasta?” I asked.
“For sure. They have this really great pasta place just done the road,” Ashleigh told me as she placed the takeout bags on the counter and started unloading the other groceries.
I grabbed some plates and silverware, putting them on the small dining table. Then I grabbed the food from the counter, placing it on the table. Within a few minutes, Ashleigh and I were sitting down to eat.
Sharing Her Story
“So tell me how you ended up here. I mean Boston’s a long way from Southern California. I’m sure you could have gone somewhere a little closer to home,” Ashleigh said just before shoving her first bite of pasta in her mouth.
I soon found myself sharing my story of Steven. There was a lot of sympathetic nodding and shaking of the head on Ashleigh’s part.
“Seriously? He broke up like that? I mean he really should have had his act together before you got engaged. And at a restaurant? He didn’t want you making a scene. This guy sounds like a jerk,” Ashleigh said.
“No, he’s a good guy. We just weren’t right for each other. It’s okay. I just needed to get away from there, and this was one of my top choices for law school,” I felt the need to defend Steven.
“How long had you dated?” Ashleigh asked.
“We’d been friends for about five years. We started dating a little over three years ago. We’d been engaged for almost three months. If we hadn’t broken up, we would have been married for about two months now,” I told her, rattling off all the stats I’d categorized in my head.
“Well, for my sake, I’m glad you’re here. My aunt wanted me to room with my cousin, and she’s a little weird. Luckily, you said you wanted it about a week before my cousin decided that she was definitely moving here,” Ashleigh told me.
Soon, Ashleigh and I were engaged in telling crazy stories about family members, friends, and people we’d roomed with who were a bit odd. I found myself laughing and enjoying my time with her. Much of my nervousness started to disappear. I already felt like she was one of my closest friends.
Classes Begin
Classes started three days later, on Monday. As I walked into my first class, the room was nearly empty. I weighed my options. The room was huge, and with only three other people there so far, I didn’t know if it would be weird to walk over to a stranger and sit next to the person. Maybe, that person was already saving someone a seat. Yet, I also didn’t want to be sitting by myself once the class started. I finally settled on a seat near the front of the class, leaving several chairs between the next closest person and me.
“Are you saving this seat?” a guy with a round face and brown eyes asked me just as I’d gotten my desk organized with my pens and paper ready to take any notes.
“No, you can sit there,” I responded.
The guy sat down next to me. I glanced over at him. He was the sort of guy that Lynzi would probably find attractive, but I wasn’t looking for another guy in my life right now.
“I’m Jessie,” I held out my hand, deciding it was probably best to at least get to know my classmates, even if I wasn’t the least bit interested in him romantically.
“James,” he said, blushing a little as he shook my hand.
“Is this your first class here?” I asked.
“Yep,” James responded.
When he didn’t ask me the same question, I said, “Mine too.”
He didn’t seem to be much of a conversationalist. I wondered if it was even worth the effort. Luckily, people were starting to file into the classroom. With the loud conversations going on around us, I was able to eavesdrop on what other people were saying rather than try to force a conversation with my seat neighbor.
There Will Be a Partnership
“Alright. First things first,” the professor announced as he came in the classroom. “I hope you like the person sitting next to you. We are going to be doing a lot of partner work in this class. That person will be your partner. That person’s success will be your success. That person’s failures will be your failures.”
I glanced over at James and attempted to smile. I guess we’d be spending a lot more time together than I’d anticipated.
Beginning to Plan the Case
On Wednesday, James came home with me from class. We were working on our first partner project, and I’d volunteered my apartment as our planning location. We were doing a mock trial on Monday. With only the weekend to create a defense case for a woman who’d been caught with her dead husband’s blood on her hands, we were on a tight schedule. Apparently, the mock case was inspired by a real case that had happened in the area ten years ago. After reading through the materials, I wished that we’d gotten the other side or that we had a little more time to plan our case.
“Okay, so here’s the deal,” I said, as we sat down to plan out our case. “I think we need to go for self-defense. It’s clear that the husband was abusive. I think we can get her off on a lesser charge than murder.”
I started to rattle off all my plans for exactly how we were going to present our case. James nodded and allowed me to ramble on for several minutes. When I paused for a moment, and he didn’t say anything, I continued rambling, saying pretty much the same things that I’d said earlier. James smiled and nodded throughout my second round of explanations.
“So, what do you think? Does that sound like a plan?” I asked.
“It might work,” James said.
“Might work? I think it’s our best defense. Do you have anything better?” I asked, slightly offended at his lack of enthusiasm concerning my plan.
He Sees What She Failed to See
James turned red, clearly embarrassed. Then he dug through the sheets of paper on the table. He held up a paper that I’d mostly considered irrelevant previously. Then he pointed to the second paragraph and then the picture underneath the paragraph. I read through the paragraph again and looked at the photograph.
“You think she’s innocent?” I asked, surprised because I’d never considered the idea.
James nodded.
“It might just work, but in that case, we’re going to have to revamp my whole plan,” I responded.
“Well, we can use this. Then we use these,” James said, grabbing three other papers out of the pile and pointing to the paragraphs that he felt like we could use in her defense. “I’m sure there’s more too.”
“Okay, okay. I see where you’re going with this,” I said, putting those papers off to the side.
The two of us started sorting through the papers, looking for anything else that we felt like could prove that she didn’t kill her husband.
He Suggests Food
“Hey, you want to take a break, grab some food, and come back to the case after we’ve eaten something. My treat,” James suddenly blurted out about fifteen minutes into the search project.
I looked over at him surprised. Really? We were in the middle of a project, and all he could think about was food? We needed to get as much of this project done tonight as we could.
“I’m sure I can find something decent in the cupboards if you’re hungry. I just went shopping yesterday,” I volunteered, not wanting to disrupt what I had hoped would be the flow of our project.
“No, it’s fine,” James stammered, looking disappointed.
“It’s just that I want to get as much of this done as we can tonight,” I said.
“You’re right,” James said. “Get the work done. Then eat.”
For the two hours, we went through the papers, bouncing ideas off of each other every once in a while. When my stomach started to growl, I regretted not taking James up on his offer. Food sounded really good about now.
“Well, I think we’ve made some progress. You want to meet tomorrow right after class again?” I asked.
“Sorry, I have bowling league practice. We can meet after practice, or we can meet on Friday,” James said.
“After’s okay. Want to meet here?” I asked.
“Sounds great. I’ll call you when I’m headed over. Practice should be maybe an hour and a half,” James said.
Ashleigh Sees the Truth
Once he’d left, Ashleigh’s bedroom door opened, and she came out. I’m not sure if I appreciated the privacy she’d given James and me or not.
“He’s kind of cute,” Ashleigh said to me.
“How do you know?” I asked, looking through the cupboards for something to eat.
“I may have snuck a peek or two when I was pretending to head to the toilet,” Ashleigh admitted. “You didn’t notice me because you were so engrossed in your papers, or maybe you were engrossed in that good-looking guy. I can’t blame you for that.
“Um, no. I’m definitely not interested. Remember? I just got out of a relationship. You sound just like my sister,” I told her.
“Lynzi must be a wise person,” Ashleigh said, grabbing a bag of crackers out of the cupboard.
“She’d like to believe that she’s wise,” I joked.
Ashleigh headed back toward her room, and just before shutting her door, she turned back around, smiled at me, and said, “Oh, and you may deny being attracted to him, but that boy clearly likes you.”
Jessie First Compares the Two Guys
Before I could respond, she’d shut her door. Was she right about James? I found myself comparing him to Steven. James’ head was a bit too round. I definitely preferred Steven’s skinnier head. Instead of beautiful blue eyes that reminded me of a relaxing ocean wave, James’ eyes reminded me of a mud puddle. Steven knew exactly how to give good advice rather than just sitting there expecting me to do most of the talking. While Steven took life seriously and knew exactly where he was going in life, James seemed to goof off a bit too much. Steven never would have wanted to stop a few minutes into a project to get food, and he never would have had a social obligation on a school night. Despite how things had turned out, it was clear which guy was a better man.
This Time There Will Be Food
The next day, when James arrived at my apartment, I had some finger foods prepared. After having my stomach growling during the previous night’s planning session, I didn’t want to take my chances. James had a point about the food, but I still didn’t think that we should take off too much time to purchase food.
“You made some food?” James said. “Thanks.”
“Yeah, you had a point about the food, so I uh, yeah, uh, you know,” I found myself stammering.
Before long, we were eating and discussing ideas for our mock defense. While I did a lot of the talking, when James had something to say, it was always something helpful and generally something I hadn’t thought of.
“I think we have things pretty much figured out. We should be as ready as we can get for Monday,” I said about three hours later.
“Yeah,” James agreed.
He Shares A Bit About Himself
In that moment, I made a decision. If we were going to be working together all semester, we would have to get beyond just talking about school-related things. I was going to get to know this guy as a person.
“So how did your bowling practice go?” I asked.
“It was great! The kids loved it,” James said.
“Kids?” I asked.
“Yeah, I coach a group of four kids. Their parents can’t afford lessons, so I volunteered to help them out,” James admitted, shrugging.
“How long have you done that?” I asked, impressed that he’d do that.
“Almost five years,” James said.
“Oh wow! That’s a while, so are you from around here?” I asked.
“Well, I grew up in a few different cities, but I’ve lived in Boston for the last about ten years. So how about you? How’d a California girl end up in Boston?” James asked me, clearly hoping to turn the focus away from himself.
“How’d you know I was from California?” I asked, not sure if I should be impressed or feel a bit like he’d been stalking me.
“A good lawyer never reveals his confidential sources,” James teased me.
“But we’re partners. We work together. We share sources,” I countered.
“Okay, you got me there. Your phone number. It’s clearly from California, so I assumed,” James admitted, shrugging.
“Oh, okay. I’ll give you that one,” I agreed.
“Anyway, how did you end up here? I really am interested. I mean it’s a long trip,” James said.
“You want the long version or the short version?” I asked, realizing that I was open to sharing a very personal story with this guy.
“Let’s go for the long version,” James said.
She Shares Her Story
I soon found myself sharing my story of growing up wanting to be a lawyer. I told him about Steven and how that relationship had gone south. Much like Ashleigh, James did a lot of nodding and made sympathetic sounds, but he didn’t interrupt me.
“Well, sounds like a tough situation,” James said.
I waited for him to say more. When he didn’t say anything else, I was relieved. I didn’t need to hear one more person insult Steven.
“Well, anyway, I’d better be heading out. I’ll see you on Monday,” James said.
Mock Trial Victory
When Monday arrived, I felt nervous. This was what I wanted to do with my life, but that didn’t mean that I felt completely comfortable doing it. Fortunately, James and I seamlessly slipped into a pattern of presenting our side of the argument. It was clear early on in the mock trial that the other team hadn’t spent nearly as much time preparing their arguments.
“And that’s how you present a defense case,” the teacher said at the end of our mock trial. “Great job, Jessica and James. The rest of you would do well to follow their example, whichever side of the case you are assigned.”
I felt myself blush a little. James and I did make a good team. I was excited to continue to work with him throughout the rest of the semester.
“So, Jessie’s short for Jessica,” James said as we exited the classroom.
“Yeah, but I really prefer Jessie,” I admitted.
“Good to know,” James said. “Hey, do you want to grab some dinner to celebrate? My treat.”
Friendship Victory
This time, I didn’t turn him down. Over the next few days, I found myself willingly spending more and more time with James outside of class. Sometimes, we were doing schoolwork at each other’s homes. Other times, we just sat talking, or we’d take a walk around campus. Occasionally, we’d go out to eat, watch a movie, or do something else together. I’d go to bowling practice with him, and I went with him when his kids competed in bowling tournaments. It got to the point where we were spending most of the day on Saturday and Sunday together and most evenings, we’d spend at least a few hours together.
“Seems like it’s getting pretty serious between you and James,” Ashleigh teased me one evening just after James had left our apartment.
“We’re just friends,” I insisted.
“Just friends? Just friends don’t spend every waking hour together for over a month,” Ashleigh again teased me.
“It’s not every waking hour. He’s not here now, and I’m awake. We’re really good friends. That’s all,” I insisted.
“Well, I know that Lynzi will be your maid-of-honor, but when you marry that guy, I hope that you’ll at least let me be a bridesmaid,” Ashleigh said.
A Second Comparison
I rolled my eyes at Ashleigh’s comment implying that I was going to marry James. I again found myself comparing him to Steven. Instead of Steven’s a bit too oval head, James’ head was a nice round shape. His gorgeous brown eyes were like delicious chocolate cake instead of like Steven’s blue eyes that made me think of a poisonous dart frog. James knew how to listen and wait for the right time to add to the conversation, which was refreshing after Steven’s desire to jump in with his opinion without caring what I had to say. James knew when and how to laugh, how to make me laugh, and how to enjoy life. Steven took things too seriously. He couldn’t just have fun. He was too focused on what he thought he wanted to really enjoy what he already had. It was clear which guy was the better man.
Seven Months Later…
“Jessie, I know that we’ve only been officially dating for six months, but…” James started to say, and that cute, familiar blush lit up his face.
My heart started to beat faster. I’d hoped this was coming, but I hadn’t expected it to come so soon.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I said, staring at the ring, and not letting him finish the question.
As he slid the ring on my finger, I felt excited and nervous. I realized now that when Steven had proposed, the excitement wasn’t there as much as that I’d felt obligated to marry him. It had just felt like the next step in our relationship.
As we got in James’ car to head back home, I could feel my face lighting up. I knew that marrying him was going to be the best decision of my life. I was excited to tell my family the good news. James had come home with me at Christmas, and my whole family fell in love with him. Seeing him interact with them had shown me how differently they viewed him than they’d viewed Steven. It hit me how much they’d held back on sharing their real opinions of him while we were dating and engaged.
“Who are we telling first?” James asked. “My family or yours?”
“How about I’ll call my sister while we drive to your parents’ house? I’m guessing my family has at least a bit of an idea that this might be happening, and maybe my sister is already waiting with my parents for the official announcement,” I guessed.
“I may have hinted that it might happen tonight,” James joked.
Telling the Family
I pushed my sister’s name and turned the phone on speaker.
“Congratulations!” three excited voices said into the phone.
“Thanks,” both James and I said, grinning like fools.
“Okay, so I want to hear all about it in a few minutes, but I just want to give you a heads up on this before you hear about it elsewhere,” Lynzi said, her voice a bit somber compared to the excitement of her previous words.
“Okay, yeah,” I said. “What is it?”
“Steven was arrested this morning,” Lynzi announced.
“Wait! What for?” I asked, shocked.
“He was embezzling money from his church,” Lynzi said.
“Really?” I asked. “How much?”
“I’m not sure. It’s all over the news here. I don’t have all the details. I just thought that you’d want to know,” Lynzi said.
“Yeah, uh, thanks for letting me know,” I said.
“Okay, now it’s time to hear about the proposal,” Lynzi said, her tone changing back to excited.
“Yes, tell us all about it,” my mom encouraged me.
My mood shifted back to excitement as I explained how James had planned a romantic dinner at a nice restaurant. We’d taken a walk around a lake after dinner, and then he’d proposed. My family expressed excitement at just the right points and continued to congratulate us throughout the call.
As we pulled up to James’ parents’ house, I said, “Well, I’m going to let you go. We have to let James’ parents know.”
“Okay, text me a picture of the ring,” Lynzi said.
“I will,” I promised.
Realizing the Truth
“Are you okay?” James asked as I put my phone back in my purse.
“Yeah, I mean it came as a shock, but yeah, I’m great actually. This amazing guy just proposed to me, and I’m great,” I said, leaning over to rest my head on his shoulder.
“It’s okay if you have some mixed feelings. I mean you did date the guy for a long time,” James said.
In that moment, I loved James even more than I had before. He understood me so well.
“I just want to thank you for not completely insulting him when I first told you about him,” I told him.
“I sensed that saying something negative about him at that time wasn’t my best plan if I hoped for you to like me. You weren’t willing to admit that he was a jerk, and me saying that would have pushed you away. Now, though, I’ll straight up say that he’s a selfish, conniving idiot,” James said.
“You’re right about that one,” I said, laughing.
“Which one? Me pushing you away or him being a selfish, conniving idiot?” James said.
“Both parts,” I admitted. “Okay, let’s tell your parents.”
As James and I got out of the car, I no longer felt the need to compare the two guys. There really was no comparison. I realized now that I’d narrowly dodged a bullet. What I’d originally thought was the end of potential happiness in my life turned out to be the beginning of the greatest happiness that I could hope for.
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