I Admire Those Who Do Rather Than Make Excuses

I’ll admit it. I’m one of those people who sometimes makes excuses why I can’t do something. I’m too tired. It’s too hard. I really don’t want to. It’s too awkward. I did it last time. I don’t even know that person that well. Can’t someone else help them?

Examples of People Who Don’t Make Excuses

I think we all know people who really do live their lives without excuses (at least most of the time). They do what they should, and they never attempt to pawn a job off on someone else that they could do on their own. Even when they face changes in their lives, they don’t seek other people’s pity. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. When I think of people who I know personally who live their lives without excuses, two people come to mind.

My Previous Branch President

When I was in a YSA branch, I had a branch president who was blind. While I’m not going to mention his name, anyone who knows him will know exactly who I’m talking about. One of the first things I realized about him was that he didn’t use his blindnesss as an excuse. It would have been easy for him to say that he couldn’t do specific things, but he joined in a variety of activities that people would normally assume required your sight. Pictionary comes to mind, but the most impressive was dodgeball.

Actually, he didn’t just play dodgeball, he singlehandedly won the game for his team. If you weren’t there, you probably think that I’m lying or exaggerating. I’m not. The only “advantage” he was given was that he was allowed to use a trash can lid as a shield. Still, since he couldn’t see the ball coming, his advantage didn’t even level the playing field.

As the rest of the branch president’s team got out, they would yell directions to him, telling him which way to throw or which way to dodge. When he took out the final person on the other team, I think everyone was impressed.

It would have been so easy for this man to say, “I can’t see. I’ll just sit on the sidelines. I really can’t play” or to make another excuse for not participating. None of us would have looked down on him. Instead, he crushed the competition.

My Visiting Teaching Companion

I’ll admit it. I could (and should) do a lot better when it comes to visiting teaching (now ministering). There have been months, unfortunately sometimes in a row, where I’ve gotten busy, distracted, or just overall lazy about ministering. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve promised myself that I’ll do better next month, or even next year, at ministering.

Several years ago, I had a visiting teaching companion who was legitimately one of the busiest people that I know. She has seven or eight children, volunteers several places, and is among the first to jump in when someone needs help.

Yet, she also always made time for us to go visiting teaching. I’m not talking about dropping by cookies and leaving right away, waving to them in the hallway at church once a month, or even a quick visit on the doorstep. I’m talking about a real visit with each of the ladies under our care. Sure, there were times when she had to rearrange things so she could visit each of the ladies under our care. Not once, though, did I hear her say that she was too busy or that we’d just do better the next month. If we ever missed a month, it wasn’t because my companion hadn’t tried. It was because the people we were trying to visit couldn’t find a time for us to visit.

What It Means to Not Make Excuses

Both of these people are really great examples of just doing what they should do. To me, not making excuses is about focusing on your own responsibilities. It is about doing your best, trying your hardest. These are the sort of people that you can count on. They are the sort of people that you want to be around because they are positive and caring. They are the sort of people who are seeking to be like Jesus Christ.

What It Doesn’t Mean

It’s important to note, though, that not making excuses does not mean that you have to do everything that anyone ever asks you to do. There are legitimate reasons why you may not be able to do something. Remember the counsel in Mosiah 4:27: “… for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength.” We need to know our limits, and we need to know when to say, “no.”

Having legitimate reasons why you can’t do something is not the same thing as just making excuses. This makes me think back to about 12 years ago. A close family member had an allergic reaction to medication given to her during surgery. She technically died. While they were able to bring her back, she was in a medically induced coma for several days. Even after she came out of the coma, it was several weeks before she could really function at all and several months before she was functioning mostly normally again.

At the end of the month of her surgery (this was the days of visiting teaching), the visiting teaching coordinator called this family member to see if she’d done her visiting teaching. When my family member admitted that she hadn’t been able to go out that month, the coordinator said, “Well, maybe you can do better next month.” I’d give this family member a pass for that month. She’s generally good about going, and being in a coma definitely counts as a legitimate reason why she was unable to visit her people that month.

How to Know If I’m Just Making Excuses

Because it’s so easy to justify our excuses, sometimes I think it’s hard to fully realize that we are just making excuses for not doing something (or for continuing to do something). Here are a few questions we can ask ourselves when we’re unsure if we’re just making excuses or if we really are unable to do something.

• Would doing this help me or others?
• If I don’t do this, will I later regret it?
• Am I passing up a great opportunity to serve and help someone?
• Would saying “yes” potentially result in a new friendship or a stronger friendship/relationship with someone?
• Why shouldn’t I do this?
• Am I trying to pawn something that should be my responsibility off on someone else?
• If I don’t do it, who will?
• If this task is too hard/too time-consuming, is there something smaller that I can/should do?
• Do I legitimately not have the time/skills to do this task?
• Is this person taking advantage of my generosity?
• Am I making excuses?

You may have other questions that you can and should ask yourself. Be honest with your answers. If you’re still unsure, prayer can help you understand when you’re making excuses versus when you’re doing your best but just have to say, “no” to something. If you find that like me, you’re sometimes making excuses rather than doing what you should, I encourage you to join me in trying to be a little better about putting aside those excuses.