Several years ago, I was feeling like I didn’t have a friend in the world. I was having a bit of a pity party for myself. After a few days of feeling like no one cared, I began to pray. I prayed for one of those church magazine or General Conference story moments where someone prays to have a friend, and someone shows up, helping that person not to feel alone. There was not a doubt in my mind that I could have one of these moments. After all, other people had these moments. Why shouldn’t I?
The Wait
The first day, I prayed, trying to have faith that someone would show up. Then I waited. No one showed up after a few hours, so I prayed again. Still no one. Not a big deal. I could be patient. I could wait for the person to show up. As the first day of praying and waiting for a miracle friend ended, my pity party intensified.
That night, I prayed and cried. The next morning, I prayed and cried. The faith that I’d thought I had the previous morning was really beginning to be tried. Throughout the day, I prayed for someone to care. My prayers involved asking to know that I mattered, that someone cared about me. Yet, this simple prayer wasn’t answered. I wanted one of those moments where someone showed up just as I really needed that person. It didn’t have to be anything amazing. Someone at the door saying that they’d been thinking of me would suffice.
The Pity Party Gets Worse
By the end of the second day, I was really beginning to doubt. I didn’t doubt that Heavenly Father could answer my prayers. I didn’t doubt that He’d answered other people’s similar prayers. Instead, I doubted that I mattered. Maybe, I wasn’t good enough to have my prayers answered. Maybe, I didn’t deserve to have a friend. I was struggling to understand why my prayer wasn’t being answered. I began to really believe that I wasn’t good enough and that I really didn’t matter. If I mattered, my prayer would have been answered. Right?
Then Came the Third Day
Then the third day came. My pity party was pretty bad by this point. I must not matter. My prayers must have been in vain. I wish that I could say that I then got a knock on the door or that I suddenly felt intensely loved by God and knew that I mattered. Neither one happened. Instead, the thought came, “You don’t always follow prompting when you’re prompted to help others.”
This thought hit me hard. It was true. I sometimes feel prompted to do something. Yet, it’s something that requires me to go outside my comfort zone. Maybe, I don’t know the person well. Perhaps, it requires me to say or do something that feels a bit weird. I might be busy and decide that I’ll do it at a more convenient time. I think we’ve all had these moments of promptings where we decide to ignore them at least for the time being.
My pity party wasn’t over instantly once I realized this. I still felt sorry for myself. Yet, I realized that there was likely someone out there who had been prompted to do something for me or to say something to me. That person, for whatever reason, had chosen to not heed that prompting. I don’t know who the person was. Maybe, it was even more than one person. Yet, I can’t really judge that person or those people, because I know that I also likely wouldn’t have followed that prompting if I’d been in their position.
What’s the Takeaway?
In a perfect world, I would then say that I now always follow promptings to help others. I would say that I learned from that experience, and I’m now super obedient to the Spirit. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. I have tried harder to obey the Spirit, which has sometimes resulted in me doing things and having no idea why I did that thing. Yet, like most people, I am still definitely a work in progress when it comes to obeying the Spirit.
I encourage others to join me in trying a little harder to obey the Spirit when we’re prompted to do something for someone else. You never know when you could be the answer to someone’s pity party prayer.
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