In Sunday School yesterday, we talked about the final few chapters of 1 Nephi. In this section, particularly in chapter 17, Nephi talked about how his people suffered but were also blessed. Then our teacher said that he enjoys suffering.
People laughed a bit at his response. He then explained that he enjoys activities such as ultramarathons and back-country skiing with a huge backpack. While I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I enjoy suffering, I get where he’s coming from. I might say that I enjoy the results of suffering or that I can appreciate the blessings that come after the suffering.
Comparing My Sports Experiences to His Comments
While I’ve never run an ultramarathon, and honestly I’m not sure that I ever would want to do that, I can understand at least where my teacher was coming from when it comes to suffering in sports.
Cold, Wet Soccer Suffering
When I was in middle school and high school, I played a lot of soccer. We lived in Western Washington for a good portion of this time, and it rained a lot. During that time, I came to understand that the best way to play soccer is in the pouring rain. There’s something just completely enjoyable about being soaked. Slugging through puddles and continuing to run to prevent yourself from being too cold. No one can convince me that there’s any better way to play soccer.
Of course, the best part of playing soccer in the cold, pouring rain was when the ball would smack me in the thigh. The feeling of that cold, wet ball hitting, my thigh, leaving behind a red mark, was amazing. If you haven’t experienced that, it’s something I would recommend. Walking off the field, feeling cold, wet, and muddy felt amazing.
My Running Suffering
For the last probably 20 years, I’ve wanted to run a marathon. Maybe, it’s about the bragging rights. After all, only a small percentage of people have run one. I know that it will be a painful, time-consuming experience that will require me to push my body to its limits. Yet, it’s something that I would like to do. Okay, maybe I’d only theoretically like to run one. It takes more dedication and time than I’m fully willing to devote. If I ever run one, I want to legit run it. I want to be in shape enough to make it through the whole thing with little to no walking. As of yet, I haven’t found that level of dedication in my training, although I do hope to reach that point someday.
Several years ago, though, one of my younger sisters and I ran a 5K. No, that’s nowhere near as far as running a marathon, but it did require pushing myself. We trained before the race, but on the day of the race, I still wasn’t sure that I could run/jog the whole thing. I remember getting close to the end and thinking that I was going to have to walk.
Because of some issues with shin splints and other issues, I wasn’t in the shape that I’d hoped to be in at that point. Yet, I continued to push myself. I told myself I had to keep running until I got to a certain point, and when I got to that point, I could walk. When I got to that point, instead of walking, I chose another specific point that I had to reach. I did this several times, and by about the fourth “you’ve got to reach that point” point, the finish line was within sight. At that point, I knew that I could make it without walking. It was a struggle. I was tired. My legs hurt, but that suffering was worth it. I had achieved what I’d set out to achieve. I was nowhere near the first person across the finish line, but I’d completed the race.
The Bicycle Story
When I was in college, Elder Dieter F. Utchdorf gave a general conference talk entitled See the End from the Beginning. At the time, people would pick a general conference talk to share as November and May’s visiting teaching and home teaching messages. My visiting teachers, home teachers, and someone in my FHE group all decided to teach this talk. When all three messages came within about a week of each other, I knew that I needed to pay attention to this talk.
In the talk, Elder Utchdorf talks about how when he was a kid, his family operated a laundry business. As a young boy, he was the laundry delivery boy. He had an old, heavy bike, which he would use for the deliveries. He didn’t enjoy the experience. It was tiring. The cart was heavy. His lungs would sometimes hurt. Yet, he continued to do this because he knew that he had to do his part to help his family.
Fast forward to when he was an adult. Elder Uchtdorf wanted to be a pilot. To become a pilot in the Air Force, he had to undergo many tests, including a strict physical examination. Only through that physical examination did he begin to understand the blessing of his early suffering on that bicycle. Tests indicated that as a youth he’d had lung disease. Only through pedaling the heavy bike with the cart attached day after day was he able to heal.
For me, this talk is one of those that really stands out in my mind. Without the physical trials of his youth, he would not have been physically capable of being a pilot years later. I know that I often complain rather than see the end from the beginning when it comes to suffering and trials.
Suffering For Something Better
Perhaps, part of my problem is that I do often struggle to see the end from the beginning when it comes to suffering. Suffering with a foreseeable end benefit, I can endure. Suffering when it’s hard to see anything good coming of it is a bit harder. Perhaps, that’s why physical suffering is sometimes easier for me to endure than emotional, spiritual, financial, or other types of trials.
Shoulder Injury Suffering
In December 2020, I fell and suffered a shoulder injury. Over the next several months, it would bother me off and on. It would be fine for a month or so. Then it would bother me again. I’d rest it for a few days, and it would feel better. Then a month or so later, it would bother me again, and the process would start over. I’ll admit that I was not finding joy in the shoulder injury suffering.
In October 2021, it started bothering me, but this time, the pain did not subside. After about a month of constant pain, I ended up in physical therapy. This physical therapy was hard. I had to do exercises when I was tired, when it was painful, and when I didn’t think that I could do another rep.
This pain and suffering, though, was a lot different from the pain and suffering of just dealing with the injury. I do this, and next week, it’s going to be easier. The week after that, it will be even easier. Before long, the exercises and stretches that were hard in the beginning were easy. I began to enjoy the suffering that went along with my physical therapy because it meant that I was making progress. It meant that healing and strength were coming. I was able to see the end from the beginning a lot easier than I was when I was just enduring the shoulder injury pain.
Suffering to Strengthen Us
It is important to remember that our trials are there to make us better people. The scriptures, general conference talks, church lessons, and other church materials often talk about the refiner’s fire. Growing up, I felt like I had a good testimony. I knew that Heavenly Father existed. I knew that Christ had suffered for my sins. My testimony of things such as the temple, personal revelation, and faith was there. Looking back, though, I realize that my testimony was kind of superficial. Ten or fifteen years from now, if I’m making spiritual progress in my life, I’ll probably feel about the same way about my 2024 testimony.
One of my pet peeves is when someone shares an amazing story in church about this huge miracle or an answer to a prayer. Then that person promises us that we can have that same experience or a similar experience if we have enough faith. The thing is that sometimes it’s not time for miracles. Sometimes, we have to have faith without seeing or experiencing what we want to happen. When people share this promise, they tend to forget that it’s according to God’s will. No matter how much we may want or even think we need something, sometimes what we really need is to endure the suffering through the refiner’s fire.
Safari Prayers
Yesterday, a woman shared a story during testimony meeting. In the story, she talked about how she went on a safari with one of her cousins. Every day, they would pray to see a specific animal, and every day during the trip they would see whatever specific animal they had prayed that morning to see.
She then talked about how she then went on another safari with a different cousin. This cousin was struggling with her faith and was questioning the truthfulness of the church. In this lady’s testimony, she talked about how there was rain in the forecast. To strengthen her cousin’s testimony, she decided to show her cousin that prayers are answered. She prayed that it wouldn’t rain, and then it rained every single day on their safari. The lady sharing her testimony said, “Maybe, my faith wasn’t strong enough.”
Her lack of faith in her own faith stung a little. Maybe, a miracle wasn’t what her cousin needed. Perhaps, Heavenly Father knew that the cousin would have brushed the lack of rain off as a coincidence. Maybe, there was someone else out there praying that it would rain because they needed rain for their crops or to have enough water to fill up their community’s well. Perhaps, this lady needed to understand that prayers aren’t always answered the way that we would like them to be. She may have needed that unanswered prayer as a way of understanding how important it is to accept God’s will, even when it doesn’t align with our own.
Final Thoughts
Overall, I would say that joy and suffering can go together. It is only through the hard times that we can grow and understand just how strong our faith is. As we come to align our will with Heavenly Father’s more and more, the joy and suffering will come alongside each other regularly. As we work toward aligning our will with His, though, we may find that the joy follows the suffering, or at least comes toward the end of the suffering. When we align our will with His, we may feel like we are suffering less and less simply because as our will aligns with God’s will, our desire to pray for things outside of his will (even the good things outside of His will) diminishes.
